Nothing to Be Resentful for Anymore

Funny thing when you put yourself first, there’s nothing left to be resentful about. Once you own your own responsibility to take care of yourself, there is no one to blame for your unhappiness…because you’re happy now and you’re taken care of now and the best part is it’s all by YOU! I’m not sure anyone other than myself really knows how to take care of me best…so I’m kinda perfect for that job. I’m so glad I filled that position.

You have to fill yourself up with so much self-love that it is that which runs over that you give to everyone else. That was a statement gifted to me by my Reiki master, Sharna Langlais, and it has come to define so much of what I do now and how I do it.

I’m here to tell you that when I began loving myself, taking care of myself and giving to myself all that I was giving to others, everything changed. My whole life changed. My marriage changed. How I parented changed. My clientele changed. Everything. Every single thing that I thought was important changed. All the misconceptions fell away and what was left was honest-to-goodness clarity and truth.

I can say this because I allowed myself to understand on a deep level that when I put myself first, I am actually caring for and loving my loved ones the best and most powerfully I possibly can.

Of course, this is not how I was raised. I was raised like just about every other girl from my generation and the ones that came before mine. Put yourself last. Put everyone else first. Put your desires and needs last. Put everyone else’s first. The more overworked you are, the better of a woman you are. The more you please others before you please yourself, if you even bother to do the latter, the more valuable you are as a woman.

And then I realized what a dirty little rotten thing Martyrdom really is. And then I let it go.

I am such a happier person these days and because of this, my eyes see the path I was supposed to be walking down all this time, and now I walk it. Because of this, my relationships are so much more joyful and fulfilling. I am now a better wife, mom, friend and a better photographer because I now have space for these people.

Funny thing when you put yourself first, there’s nothing left to be resentful about. Once you own your own responsibility to take care of yourself, there is no one to blame for your unhappiness…because you’re happy now and you’re taken care of now and the best part is it’s all by YOU! I’m not sure anyone other than myself really knows how to take care of me best…so I’m kinda perfect for that job. I’m so glad I filled that position.

Listen to me: if you are one of those women that still thinks you are being selfish when you are taking care of yourself, it’s time to change how you think. If you believe I’m wrong I want you to go ask your friends, mate and kids if they want you to be happy and if they find joy in you taking care of yourself. If any of them answer no, walk away now (or smack your kid in the head). Am I right?

— Putting yourself first is the most selfless thing you can do. Putting yourself last is the most selfish thing you can do — Repeat to infinity.

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Elizabeth Craig

Photographer, Reiki Practitioner, wanderer, ponderer, lover of writing.